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Written by: Nyx Ember

At times we can be the orchestrator of our own discomfort. We choose things for our lives and at times we don't consider the weight those things may have. Protecting your joy is not only about preserving your own happiness. It preserves both your mental and physical health.  Life is stressful enough without adding things that create more hardship. That's not  self love or care.  What may logically be the right thing may not be the most healthy thing for your life.  Wisdom is learning your limits and where to step back for your own personal well being.

It's been three years since I started my journey for a more joyful existence. Some things I kept in my life out of obligation even though I knew they were causing me harm. I wanted to be a good person. I wanted to do the right thing. I had no peace. I was never able to rest my body or my thoughts. Rest is necessary for a positive experience and peaceful life. You can't live in chaos and expect peace or joy. You can't heal or be healthy without the ability to regenerate through effective rest.

Read more: Joy in Absence

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Written by: Nyx Ember

Previously Finding Joy

Nyx Ember

I started this series in 2023. And at that time I thought I knew what joy was and that moments of joy were all I wanted.  I was really still learning. My journey was in its infancy.  When I wrote my original article, I was less than a year out of an abusive relationship and I had never in my life been able to do anything I truly wanted to do.  I was not completely cognizant of what I wanted or who I was.  I have come to the conclusion that joy is actually a continuous journey instead a destination. The definition of joy is "a feeling of great pleasure and happiness." What I was really seeking was a peaceful and joyful life. Having lived in so much pain and chaos, even a moment of joy was a relief. We all experience moments of joy but a joyful life is somehow a bit more complicated as it requires you to be intentional. I have found that seeking the wisdom of my elders has taught me some absolutely invaluable lessons in this journey. They have  invested in me  something so priceless: their words, memories and LOVE. I have spent as much time as I could sitting in the presence of some of the wisest and bravest women I could find. Women who have done amazing things often during a time when they faced challenges we struggle to understand today.  Things they bring up in passing that  cause you to do a double take as you ask them to repeat what they said for a story.  And they always have a story, a rich thread woven through time.  These stories are all lessons.

Read more: Living a Joyful Life part 1 redux

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Written by: Karen Kortsch

Listening to the draft submissions of some of our other members, I found that all of the stories shared resonated with me. In the last 4 years, I have experienced retirement, the death of my mother and the death of a brother-in-law who was the same age as I am. My husband and I acted as caregiver and companion to his brother during his almost 2 year cancer journey that ended with his death in July. All of these events have changed the way I look at life and made me more determined to live an authentic life.

I retired at the age of 56 because I was financially able to do so and I felt like my work as a behavioral health nurse was not serving my patients or myself well anymore. I had a lot of moral distress about many aspects of my job and did not look forward to going to work. I definitely did not feel like I could be my authentic self on the job. Four years later I have no regrets and feel privileged to have the time to be a support person to family and friends who have to navigate our unnecessarily complicated health care system. I also am conscious of the need for self care and do not feel guilty in the least that I have the time for rest, recreation and fun. Life is good and spending time with all the wonderful women of UUWC is priceless. Thank you all for your friendship and love.

Karen Kortsch
August, 2023